Behind The Facade
by Amanda Hawthorn
Summary: For the sake of her own sanity she had done the best she could to move on. She'd found herself an apartment and slowly began to fill it with trinkets she brought to fill the void that her lost lover had left behind him. Her life had been at a standstill until the day she began a new partnership with the man who was in the car beside her. SPOILERS FOR 7.01


**Disclaimer: Burn Notice still doesn't belong to me unfortunately.**

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed all of my previous stories and sent personal messages asking when I was writing again. RL takes up a lot of my time so it's in the quiet moments when I can sit down to write. Your kind words are appreciated more than any of you could know. Thank you to all of you.**

**Huge thanks as always to my very deal friends Purdy's Pal and JediSkysinger for reading through this and for their encouragement. Special thanks to JediSkysinger for finding the time to give this a BETA for me too.**

**Lastly thank you to DaisyDay, Noelle and all of the girls on twitter for the love and support.**

**This story is a one shot based around a scene in 7.01**

_**For the sake of her own sanity she had done the best she could to move on. She'd found herself an apartment and slowly began to fill it with trinkets she brought to fill the void that her lost lover had left behind him. Her life had been at a standstill until the day she began a new partnership with the man who was in the car beside her.**_

Behind the facade

Ever since her meeting with Sam and Jesse, Fiona hadn't been able to concentrate. For nine months she had battled to force a love away that just refused to die. Even with everything that had happened while she and her friends had been imprisoned couldn't quash it, no matter how much she'd tried. She had loved Michael with everything she possessed. He was the other half of her, her soul mate, her…everything…but that was all gone now.

For the sake of her own sanity she had done the best she could to move on. She'd found herself an apartment and slowly began to fill it with trinkets she brought to fill the void that her lost lover had left behind him. Her life had been at a standstill until the day she began a new partnership with the man who was in the car beside her.

Looking to her left, she glanced at the new man in her life with a fond smile. He was ruggedly handsome and he treated her like a treasure. He lavished her with affection and took her out to dinner all the time. He held her hand in public, openly confessed his feelings to her and she accepted it all with carefully worded sentiments. She didn't repeat words of love or initiate intimate contact. When he held her hand, she didn't feel that spark or the jolt of her heart. She didn't feel completely consumed by him or lay her life down to save him. She wouldn't turn herself into the authorities to save him or reach for him in the middle of the night when he awoke from a bad dream… but she hoped that one day she could learn to do all of those things.

Carlos reached forward and turned the radio up as he drove the car towards Madeline's house. He caught her eyes and granted her a dazzling smile, refusing to see the turmoil that emanated from her gaze. Turning his attention back towards the road, he bobbed his head in time with the music and laughed despite the distance Fiona had put between them. Whatever was bothering her would disappear as soon as he got her alone tonight…it always did.

When they reached Madeline's house, Carlos parked the car and looked towards his girlfriend. Flashing her another smile, he leaned across the seat to press his lips against her cheek, allowing his kiss to linger over her skin. He covered her hand with his and curled his fingers around hers before he pulled back to look at her.

"You okay, baby?"

Fiona gave herself a mental shake and forced a smile to her lips. Despite everything, Carlos was a good man and he had gone out of his way to make her feel like she was his world. He had been so patient with her and overcome every single obstacle she had tried to place between them. He knew all about Michael and the situation of their parting, but that hadn't deterred him one iota. In fact, it had just increased his persistence until she had eventually caved and gone on a date with him.

"I'm fine," she lied, using a smile to cover the sadness that once again encased her heart. "It's been a long day."

"Yeah," he agreed as he brought their joined hands up to his lips. "It has…and that's why I booked us a table at the Forge tonight."

Fiona's eyes grew wide and she could already feel the memories of Michael filling her with overwhelming emotion. Before she could stop them, tear welled but she forced them back as she desperately tried to hide how just the mention of that restaurant sparked so many memories. Michael never did take her there like he'd promised, unlike the new man in her life. He loved her…he booked restaurants and was romantic…the only problem was that he wasn't the love of her life…he wasn't Michael.

Taking a deep breath, she squeezed his hand in hers and offered him a watery smile before she nodded in acceptance.

"That's great," she told him hollowly, hoping that he couldn't hear the emptiness that seeped through her words.

"Just you and me, baby," he told her seriously. "That's all it's gonna be tonight. I'm going to show you how beautiful you are."

Fiona opened her mouth to answer him but he dropped her hand and exited the car before she knew what was happening. The next thing she knew he was around her side of the car, pulling the door open as he held out his hand to help her out of the car. Despite the heaviness in her heart, she smiled up at him with heartfelt affection, reminding herself that she could learn to love him eventually.

"Thank you, Carlos," she told him softly when he pulled her closer to collect a brief kiss before he moved away just as quickly to grasp hold of her hand as they walked towards Madeline's door.

The Westen house had been filled with child's laughter for over a month now, something that Fiona was still trying to get used to. This house had been used as a makeshift hospital, a safe house, and even a work shop for building bombs at one time or another. A happy house filled with joy wasn't something that it had seen in a very long time.

Taking a deep breath, she met Madeline's bright smile with one of her own as she stepped over the threshold. The little boy that had made this house brighter surged towards them, his eyes wide with excitement as the man beside her scooped him up in his arms and spun him around.

"He's been waiting for you," Madeline beamed as she focused on Fiona's boyfriend with a fondness she hadn't expected to feel. "Now, you boys be careful, you hear me?"

"You expect Carlos to listen to you?" Fiona asked with a soft chuckle as she closed the door shut behind her. "You know how he is with Charlie!"

"Yeah," Madeline nodded happily. "Charlie can't stop talking about him."

Fiona tore her eyes away from Carlos and the little boy and regarded the older woman with a fond gaze. After everything they had been through with Michael, she would always be forever grateful that her relationship with his mother hadn't faded away. After they returned to Miami from their prison stay last year, it had been on Madeline's insistence that she stayed with her, even though neither of them were willing to talk about the mess that they had been left to deal with.

"Listen, I had a meeting with Sam and Jesse—"

"Jesse?" Madeline gasped, a smile lifting her lips. "How's he doing?"

"He's fine. He's—"

"We really should get together, all of us," Madeline gushed out, her words flowing endlessly as she started to turn away.

Reaching forward, Fiona caught her arm and pulled her back around to face her, knowing by the look in her eyes that Madeline already knew that this wasn't a social call.

"What's happened?"

"It's about Michael," Fiona started, only to hold up her hand to silence the older woman before she could ask any questions. "I don't know the details, but we need to be on our guard. There's a man asking questions about him so—"

"If it's about Michael then does that mean he's home?" Madeline asked hopefully. "Does—"

"I don't know…all I know is that I need to be here to make sure this guy doesn't come here."

Charlie's giggling caused both women to turn towards the sound, just in time to see Carlos lifting the young child into the air so that he could toss a ball into the basketball net. The sight caused Fiona's heart to ache, but not with a longing that most women would feel for having a man who loved children. Instead of the surge of love she longed to feel, all she was met with was the deepest sadness that only highlighted the man she had lost.

She heard Madeline's voice calling out to both of them, urging them to be careful with the ball inside the house, but she just couldn't seem to focus. So when the older woman left her side to walk towards them, Fiona took the opportunity to turn away. She was living a lie and it only seemed to be her that knew it.

The name that she had forbidden herself to say for so long was suddenly once again at the forefront of her mind…and no matter how many times she tried to escape it, the name of her former boyfriend just wouldn't leave her alone.

She silently cursed Sam for dredging up the memories that she had successfully been able to bury, but now, after her meeting with Jesse and Sam, Fiona couldn't deny that Michael Westen was still very much in her heart.

Staying close to the window she looked through the blinds and surveyed the street around her. She tried not to listen to the sounds of her new boyfriend as he ran around the room with Nate's son. She tried not to think of how much she wished she could just make herself fall in love with him, but after six months of trying, those feelings still hadn't come. So she lied to Carlos and everyone around her. She plastered fake smiles on her face and willed the pain in her heart to stay out of her eyes, and she had all but succeeded…until a few hours ago when Michael Westen once again stole her heart away.

"For god's sake Fiona, put that thing away!"

Turning around, Fiona watched Madeline expectantly and shook her head before she stepped closer to the window again. Part of her was watching for the unknown man who had been slipping in and out of various disguises in a bid to find out about Michael's whereabouts. The other part of her was avoiding the man who had treated her with nothing but devotion, even though she hadn't allowed herself to return it.

"Madeline, you know we have a situation here," she told the woman behind her as she kept her eyes focused on the scene outside. "With this man asking questions about Michael we can't be too careful."

"The child service people could visit at any time," Madeline wailed. "I quit smoking so I could keep Charlie. One gun could ruin everything."

"Look, it's just until Sam and Jesse find this guy—"

Madeline held her hand up and motioned to the gun in the younger woman's hand. "Just keep that thing out of the way and tell Jesse to hurry up and find this guy."

Sighing heavily Fiona leaned against the window and tucked the gun inside the waistband of her jeans, hiding it from view as she lowered her shirt over it. She could hear Charlie squealing with delight, a sound that seemed so foreign to her. Slowly she turned her head and watched her current boyfriend swinging the small child in the air and being all the things that she'd wanted Michael to be… and just like that the sorrow and pain reared inside her once more. But just like always, she swallowed it down and hid behind her happy façade once more…

End


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